Page 8 - Demo

8Teasing or playing is not bullying A game should not harm or insult anyone. It is important for all participants to recognize and accept actions as playing. Sometimes words or actions meant as play might insult or hurt some participants %u2013 if this happens, the participants should apologize and again agree on the terms of play. Often, players will avoid actions in the future that they know have hurt someone in the past. In playing, there is mutual agreement and respect between participants, which is not the case in bullying situations.Often, children will say, %u201cWe are just playing, it is not serious%u201d or %u201cIt%u2019s just a joke%u201d. How should we react in these kinds of situations? First, make sure that everyone who is playing is in on the fun. Children might try to justify or explain behavior that they know to be wrong to others and to themselves by calling it a game. In this way, they also avoid the unsettling feeling of guilt. Well-meaning comments, but%u2026Bullying not only affects the bullied student, but also their close circle of family and friends. Once the matter has come to the attention of the bullied student%u2019s close circle, they attempt to voice their opinions to make the bullied student feel better. This is good! But sometimes the well-intended comments might make the situation worse and cause additional problems. Carelessly said remarks might cause feelings of shame or guilt in the bullied student. Below are some observations that are sometimes heard when bullying is discussed.%u201cI used to be bullied at school, but that did not affect me in any way%u201d. Often these words are said with an annoyed tone, as if the speaker were still being bothered by the bullying. If indeed the bullying had no effect, it raises the question whether it really was bullying or, for example, it was a quarrel or a disagreement. In addition, humans react to situations in different subjective ways. What feels nothing to you might feel like a nightmare to another person. To the bullied student, the comment above might sound as if their problem is being belittled. %u201cYou have to learn to stand up for yourself%u201d. Learning self-defense is important, but it should never come at the cost of experiencing bullying. Bullying is about harassing or harming someone who is in a weaker position. In this kind of situation, defending oneself is extremely difficult, if not impossible. When the bullied student needs to defend themselves, they have to survive alone in the situation. Asking for help is