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32MY CHILD IS PARTICIPATING IN BULLYING %u2013 WHAT TO DO?What to do when you find out that your child has been bullying others? The news can come as a surprise, and your first reaction may be anger, suspicion, and guilt. These feelings are legitimate and appropriate, but before you start figuring out what is happening with your child, you should try to calm down.Often, we do not think that our own child could take part in bullying, and we may perceive bullies as particularly aggressive or even disturbed children, which we might not recognize our own child as being. However, anyone can be a bully, even a child who shows no aggressive or harmful behavior otherwise.What to do?%u2022Find out what happened thoroughly. Is it really bullying or some other disagreement or argument between students? These situations should also be addressed. When asking questions, do not be critical, accusatory, or judgmental.%u2022Find out how and why your child has participated in the bullying. Remember that children can often deny their involvement in what has happened or minimize their own role in it.%u2022Do not accept all explanations, such as: %u201cIt%u2019s just a game, we%u2019re not serious.%u201d Make it clear that you do not approve of bullying. Help your child to understand the difference between play and bullying.%u2022Explain how scary and unfair bullying is for the bullied person. Emphasize that nothing justifies bullying.%u2022Explain that bullying must stop because the situation can get worse for both the bullied person and those involved in the bullying.%u2022Judge the bullying, not your child. Make it clear that you do not approve of their actions of bullying, but that you accept your child and love them. Reassure them that you are ready to help and support them in stopping their bullying behavior.%u2022Consider whether your child needs more adult guidance and presence. Set clear boundaries for them.%u2022Teach your child to respect other people and accept their differences. Differences are an asset, not a threat or a reason to be mocked.%u2022Tell your child that you know they can change their behavior and that you are sure that they do not really want to hurt or make others feel bad. Strengthen their confidence in changing their behavior for the better.